In a world filled with uncertainty, the search for comfort whether in the hands of family or friends remains a quest that many find to be a challenging feat. Despite technological advancements and unprecedented levels of connectivity a new trend emerges. The enigmatic decay of perhaps the greatest aspects of being human; the onset decline of human friendships.
The phrase ‘Decline of Friendship’ or the ‘Friendship Recession’ reveals an alarming trend: individuals today have fewer close friends.
While many of us have grown up with uncovering the so-called benefits of the digital age that have supposedly brought people close together online, it has left a distance between individuals in real life. These particular shifts in social dynamics have loosened the threads of perhaps the most complex tapestry of being human.
Friendships, live familial bonds have been pillars of community, social interaction, support and comfort yet it poses a new challenge that perhaps extend themselves outside the concern of individual experiences towards one of societal concern. While not a particularly blatant concern among those living modern life the far-reaching implications on mental and physical health, community cohesion and as general matter of well-being face deterioration.
With the increasing use of AI, new avenues for companionship and the potential for individuals to turn towards man-made machinery in times of comfort become a scary reality. While friendships provide individuals with connection and a sense of belonging, the reduction of these particular relations creates a spill-over effect from individuals to communities.
With communities at risk of fragmenting, minimizing shared resilience even economic productivity. The phrase ‘Decline of Friendship’ or the ‘Friendship Recession’  coined by researcher Daniel Cox reveals an alarming trend, individuals today have fewer and fewer people they consider close friends.
Social isolation has impacts akin to smoking 15 cigarettes a day, linking to weakened immunity, heart disease, and even cancer.
What is striking is how loneliness manifests in social settings. Despite close proximity, people are unable to develop meaningful connections. Even in a room full of people, a classroom, or an office, even a dinner party does not guarantee the fulfillment of a friendship.
In its severest form, Social isolation can have detrimental effects on physical and emotional health linking to a weakening immune system Disease, Inflammation, disruption of sleep, heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, and even cancer (Kaplan 2023). While social isolation remains on the end of the scale, loneliness can also have similar impacts with it often being compared to smoking 15 cigarettes in day (Bello 2023).
Forming friendships often occurs through shared situations, from sharing a crayon in kindergarten or playing aankh macholi during break time, bunking classes together to grabbing a quick meal after a long day, these experiences form a connection. but as is often the case with growing older, environments change.
People leave, people change, hobbies once found as a commonality turn into just something you used to do. Finding common ground especially with the exceptionally polarizing world of opinions whether political or sports-based, the complexities of friendship toughen.
More and more individuals move away for better opportunities, educational or professional making it harder to maintain friendships. With higher education and jobs requiring more time, individuals find themselves with less and less windows of free time. This cult of Workism has made careers the only priority. Increasing costs of social venues, a lack of third spaces amongst dependency on cars friendship has made friendship a luxury to maintain.
The pandemic magnified social disconnection, leaving individuals grappling with gaps in development and missed opportunities for meaningful connections.
Female and male friendships dynamics are entirely a separate conversation on their own. Where women depend on face-to-face interaction, men rely on bonding through activities. The entire concept of femininity and masculinity where often men are stigmatized and hesitant to discuss emotional well-being, as compared to women who are more open and accepting such areas of conversation, further complicates this landscape.
The institution of marriage itself often brings a halt to the frequency of friendships. Where most on one’s time is spent towards adjusting to a new household, or acclimating yourself to meeting the needs of your partner, leaving socialization an after-thought. On the other hand, those living the untethered life are often encouraged to stay at home to protect themselves from the atrocities of the world outside or are in dire search of employment amidst the rising unemployment in the state.
The Pandemic only magnified theses issues, where people were often forced to hide behind a screen via online classes and work remotely. The prolonged social isolation led to a rise in social anxiety making it even harder for people to reconnect once restrictions lifted. Funnily enough, the effects of pandemic continue even four years later where individuals have experienced a gap in their own development, missing out on college, university years when these were meant to be the memorable times of one’s life.
Often friendships within Pakistani culture are viewed as negative rather emphasis on put on developing relationships with one’s own families such as cousins or siblings. The joint-family systems gives priority to kin relationships, eliminating the necessity to add diversity within a social circle.
While our society comes to terms with this emerging issue, the solutions to could not be simpler. Reaching out to old friends, rehashing past connections opening up a pathway is the first step towards bringing a halt towards the intrepid cycle of loneliness and isolation. In the same sense, shifting one’s mind set towards being grateful for current relationships making an effort towards building connections proves to be most crucial step. Social navigation intervention as termed by psychologists requires of searching for new friendships.
Friendships require intentional effort, reciprocity, and vulnerability to thrive in today’s fast-paced, polarizing, and often isolating world.
Friendships tend not to manifest originally but rather require time and effort from both parties, as well as reciprocity depending on the nature of the friendship itself. For this circumstance, joining a club in university, or in a public atmosphere can aid the situation. Joining a gym or participating in sporting activities would also benefit the quest for friendships. In this particular journey, the need to be intentional about what one requires or may accept in a friendship, in order to create a social connection that brings satisfaction is necessary (Kaplan 2023).
Despite all the step-by-step guides or books one may find to aid them in solving these particular problems, perhaps the biggest challenge of all remains the vulnerability required in this particular pursuit. Admitting that an individual is in search or willing to make friends, is an open discussion of their desires which even in today’s advanced society can be seen as a shameful or embarrassing feat.
The shame in admitting that one may not have friends could possibly be a matter of ridicule, as so it has been a recurring theme in many movies and films, making it an even harder obstacle to overcome.
Disclaimer:Â The opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the author. They do not represent the views, beliefs, or policies of the Stratheia.
The author is a Peace and Conflict Studies Scholar at National Defence University in Islamabad.